


Eggs and Coffee

by littleblackbow



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: BLU, M/M, snupin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblackbow/pseuds/littleblackbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some comforts stay with us our entire lives. <br/>Some friendships grow out of the most unlikely circumstances.<br/>Some relationships seem to last through the most terrible of storms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggs and Coffee

Remus Lupin sat on the floor next to the body of his lifeless wife. He gently stroked back her hair, now and forever back to its natural mousey brown, and tenderly wiped some dirt and soot off her face. As he sat there in quiet reverie, he heard familiar footsteps in the hall.  
  
"You should be in the hospital wing recovering, Mr. Lupin," Madam Pomfrey told him quietly.  
  
Lupin didn't reply. He just sat there staring down at her.  
  
"They'll need to start clearing the hall soon, Mr. Lupin. And you really ought to be in bed."  
  
When Harry came into the room, Lupin did look up. In this whole muddle of an aftermath of the battle, Harry and Minerva seemed to be two of the only people who had been able to keep level heads and do what needed to be done. A pang of guilt rose in Lupin's gut when he thought about how useless he'd been.  
  
He had been dead. Well, mostly dead. His body ought to have died, but somehow a spark of life survived in him. He wasn't sure if it was due to his werewolf physiology, or something else, but everyone was calling it a miracle.  
  
Looking down at Tonks for the first time after the battle, Lupin considered it a curse.  
  
Lupin was staring at Harry as he spoke with Professor McGonagall in whispers. Although he couldn't hear what they were saying, he did see Harry's mouth form the name "Professor Snape."  
  
Remus stood and started over toward them. "What-- What about Professor Snape?" he asked cautiously.  
  
Poppy ran after him, putting her hand on his arm.  
  
They all looked at Remus, faces dark and serious. It was McGonagall who finally spoke. "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter just informed me that Severus Snape... has fallen. He was killed in the Shrieking Shack."  
  
Lupin's world fell silent. Before, even after Tonks died, he still felt like there was something, _someone_  out there for him still. But now he was truly alone. There was nobody left from his generation. His eyes widened and started trembling. "No... no, it's not possible."  
  
"Prof--, Remus, I was there. I'm sorry." Harry shuffled his feet and looked apologetically.  
  
Poppy summoned a blanket and wrapped it around Lupin's shoulders. The trembling was getting worse and the color had drained from his face. "Come, you need to get back to bed, Mr. Lupin. We can talk about this later when you've recovered."  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
It was sometime in the night when Lupin woke up and felt a strange urge to go out and do something. He needed to see the Shack. He needed to know that what Harry had told them was true. Part of him still didn't want to believe that Snape could actually be dead.   
  
When he found himself standing there, looking down at the stain of dried blood on the floor of the shack, the realization finally hit him that he really was alone. Who was left of his generation who would understand him?   
  
He crouched down and ran his hand along the stain on the floor. He and Snape may not have been the best of friends over the past few years, but he thought they had some kind of understanding. And when they were younger, they  _had_  been...  
  
"Remus?" Harry spoke softly from the door.  
  
"He's gone, too?"  
  
Harry walked up to Remus and put his hand on his shoulder. "It... it shouldn't have been like this, I know. I should have done something, but Voldemort was... I couldn't do anything."  
  
"It isn't your fault, Harry," Remus told him. "War creates only victims."  
  
Harry fell silent. Remus stood and just stared down at the floor for a while. Where had he gone wrong with Severus, anyway? Why did everything have to end like this? First James and Lily, then Sirius, and now Tonks and Severus.  
  
"What are you going to do now?" Harry asked finally, breaking the long silence.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What about Teddy?"  
  
Remus didn't know what to say. He couldn't take care of a child on his own with no source of income, nobody to help him through the full moons, and nobody to brew his wolfsbane. Even if he found someone who would be willing to brew for him, he wouldn't have the money to pay for it. No matter how talented Harry was, or how famous he might be, he couldn't rely on Harry to solve all of his problems.  
  
"Teddy is all I have left, Harry." Remus ran his hand through his hair. "But I can't be a good father to him, not right now. I have three weeks before the full moon and I... I can't take care of him." His voice cracked as he spoke.  
  
Harry put his hand on Remus's sleeve. "I'll take care of him. I'm sure Ginny, Hermione and Ron and Mrs. Weasley will help me. You just do what you need to do to prepare for the full moon and I'll bring him to you a few days after."  
  
Remus nodded. He reached down and took Harry's hand in his own, still staring at the blood stain on the floor. "Thank you, Harry."  
  
Harry squeezed his hand and then pulled back.   
  
"There's a cottage in the woods about ten miles north of here. I think it was Albus's fishing lodge, although it's nowhere near any body of water. I'll ask Aberforth if it's still vacant, and if he agrees, I'll go stay up there for the next few weeks." Remus turned to Harry and looked him in the eye. "You ought to go be with your friends."  
  
Harry smiled and took Remus's hand again. "I am."  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
The cottage was small and cozy, with just the one main room, a small kitchen, and a bathroom. It was sparsely furnished with one bed, a table and two chairs, an old trunk that was filled with wool socks and patchwork quilts, and one bookcase filled with all sorts of reference books and fairy stories.  
  
Remus was also relieved to find that the larder was stocked, and there was at least a year's supply of peppermint tea.   
  
The place was so very Albus, that Remus felt right at home. After making himself a cup of tea, he sat at the table and stared out the window. It looked out onto a clearing where Albus had set up a bird bath surrounded by purple irises and tiger lilies.  
  
For some reason, all he could think about was Severus.   
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _He was sitting at the next table in the library, copying notes from a thick leather-bound tome onto a fresh piece of parchment. Remus was fascinated by how his hair would keep falling down into his face, only to have him push it out of the way again. It was as if he never thought of using a sticking charm to keep it in place. Or he could have just had his haircut the last time they all went into Hogsmeade.  
  
Remus brought out his wand and cast a sticking charm to hold Severus's hair back. As soon as the spell was finished, Severus's head snapped up and he stared at the young man sitting across from him. "What do you think you're doing, Lupin?" He demanded in a low whisper.  
  
"Helping you," Remus replied with a sheepish smile. He held up one hand. "Really, just trying to help."  
  
Severus huffed and looked down at his work. He scribbled a few more notes, then snapped the book shut and rolled up the parchment. He scowled at Remus and pulled his hair down into his face again. "I don't need help from the likes of you," he grumbled, and started for the door.  
  
Remus closed the book he was reading and chased after him. Out in the hallway outside the Library, he pulled Severus aside. "Wait, please." He put his hand on the other young man's arm. "Look, I was..."  
  
"I'm not interested in what you were doing, Lupin," Severus spat. "Whatever sort of mischief you were up to, I'd be obliged if you just leave. me. alone."  
  
Remus took a step back and nodded. "I'm sorry. I really was just trying to help."  
  
Severus's face softened for just a moment and then hardened again. "I don't need help." He turned around and stalked off in the direction of the Slytherin Dungeons.   
  
"Everyone needs help," Remus said softly as he watched the other boy leave._  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
Remus stirred his coffee in quiet contemplation. Why had he reached out to Severus that time? What was it about the young man that was alluring back then? He certainly wasn't handsome, even by the furthest stretch of the imagination.   
  
Maybe because he was smart, and yet the others still picked him for their teasing and taunting. Being that unfair wasn't in Remus's nature, even back then.   
  
A better question, he decided, was why he allowed Sirius and James to be so cruel to him. Severus hadn't actually done anything to them, so what was it about him that made him the target of the Marauders?  
  
Remus shook his head and pushed back, away from the table. "There's no point in wallowing in the past like this," he told himself. "Best not to over-analyze and relive these things. The last thing I need right now is to voluntarily visit ghosts."  
  
He got up from his seat and went over to the bookshelf. Albus had the strangest collection of books. There were plenty of spell books and books on Wizarding lore and history, but also cooking books, a few books about fly fishing, and at least a dozen knitting books of sock patterns.  
  
Remus smiled at the thought of taking up knitting as a hobby. What would he do with a couple of needles and a ball of wool?  
  
"Why not?" he asked himself. Remus opened the trunk at the end of the bed, rustling through it until he found a pair of needles and a ball of wool. Attached to one of the needles was a small blue tag that read "Start with a scarf, Remus, and enjoy."  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
The first few days up at the cottage went almost too smoothly. Remus was able to lose himself in the quietness. Any time his mind went back to the war, he would force the thoughts out by reading, or puttering around the kitchen, or going for a long walk in the woods.   
  
By the fifth day, however, he was running out of ways to keep himself busy and his mind kept returning to thoughts about Severus Snape.  
  
Remus sat at the table knitting clumsily as the morning sun shone in through the window. He was starting to knit more comfortably and the stitches were easier. With the rote process of knitting, and sitting there in the calming sunshine, Remus's mind drifted back again.  
  
When had he and Severus become friends?   
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _Severus was sitting quietly down by the water, reading a book. If it hadn't been for the slight movement of shadows, Remus wouldn't have noticed him at all.  
  
Or would he? Remus made his way down the path that lead to the bank. He was beginning to believe more strongly in fate. Somehow he'd been able to find Severus in each of his hiding spots. Whether it be in an abandoned classroom up on the sixth floor near the Ravenclaw tower, or down at the cave near the Forbidden Forest, Remus somehow found his fellow student every time. And now, he was down near the lake, on the other side of a grove of trees.  
  
"Hello Snape," he said as he approached. "Do you mind if I join you?"  
  
"I do mind," Snape replied. "Did it ever occur to you that I seek these secluded places out so that I might be alone?" He placed a page-holding charm in his book and snapped it shut.  
  
"Yes, I thought that might be the reason." Lupin sat next to him, leaning back against another tree. "But somehow I keep finding you, anyhow."  
  
Snape sighed and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. "Why?" he asked.  
  
Remus looked over at him, then down at his hand as he plucked out a few blades of grass. "Why what?"  
  
"Why do you find me? And why are you... not tormenting me like your friends?"  
  
That was the same question Remus had been asking himself for the past few weeks. He was sixteen and could make decisions for himself. It didn't _really _matter what James and Sirius were doing. He could make his own decisions, right?  
  
"I suppose because I'm different from them." Remus pulled up a few more blades of grass and tossed them into the air. He levitated them for a moment, then made them swirl around before letting them fall to the ground.  
  
"You... you are different," Severus said quietly. "You're smarter than they are, and I think you understand more about the world. Black and Potter are idiots."  
  
Remus smiled. "Sometimes, yeah."  
  
"They have never shown me otherwise." Severus opened his book and started reading again.  
  
"What are you going to do after you graduate?" Remus brought his knees up and leaned forward with his arms over his knees and his chin resting on his arms. Severus didn't answer. He heard the page turn in his book and looked back at him. "Have you decided?"  
  
Severus huffed. "I have not."  
  
Remus looked out over the still water of the lake. "There's a growing anti-muggle movement out there. I keep hearing about more and more raids on Muggles and Muggle-born wizards. I think I want to help fight that, if there's any way."  
  
Snape snorted. "Fools. It makes no sense to go after Muggles. The world is full of Muggles, and they will all likely kill themselves. They ought to go after dangerous creatures like the vampires and werewolves. The Muggles will all destroy themselves with disease, war, and general stupidity."  
  
He went back to his reading as if what he said meant absolutely nothing. As if he were just stating a fact.  
  
"That's a terrible thing to say," Remus said softly, somberly. "Not only about Muggles, but... but magical beasts - creatures like werewolves - they can't help who they are."   
  
"That," Snape said, not looking up from his book, "does not change anything. Werewolves and Vampires cannot be trusted. Dragons cannot help who they are, and so they must be controlled._Because _they are dangerous creatures, they ought to be--"  
  
Remus stood and brushed off his robes. "For such a smart wizard, you sure can be stupid at times, Severus Snape."  
  
Snape watched Remus walk off for a moment, and then closed his book and went after him. "Wait!" he called out. "Lupin, come back."  
  
"What?" Remus asked. He stopped and turned to face his classmate. "What? Are you going to tell me more about--"  
  
"No, I..." Snape sputtered. He put his book in the outer pocket of his robes and sniffed, then turned his head to look toward the trees. "You called me a smart wizard." His face flushed.  
  
Remus half-smiled. "I did. You are." He scratched his head and raised an eyebrow. "When you're not being a narrow-minded fool."  
  
"I am not a fool."  
  
"No, you aren't most of the time. But werewolves are people, too. For one night out of the entire month - that's only 12 or 13 times in a year, they transform into a creature. The rest of the time," Remus took a deep breath, "they're just normal people."_  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
At the end of the first week in the cottage, Remus decided he ought to have some means of communication with the outside world. By "outside world," he realized he meant Harry.  
  
He didn't own an owl, and although there was a very small fireplace in the cabin, there was no floo powder. He thought about using his patronus to send a message, but immediately dismissed that thought. If he did that, Harry would be sure to panic and might even come after him.  
  
No, the best solution was to somehow get out and find some floo powder or capture and train a bird. Floo powder would be difficult to obtain. He didn't have any money to buy some, and even if he did most of the wizarding world was still recovering from the war.  
  
There might be instructions on how to make floo powder in one of the books on Dumbledore's shelves, but Remus wasn't entirely sure he had the power to cast any serious magic yet. He was still feeling weak from his injuries and needed to save his strength for when he would have to face the transformation in a couple of weeks.  
  
So he decided to go out and find himself a bird. He'd never trained an owl before, let alone charmed them to be magical companions. There was a book on the training of magical creatures on the bookshelf, though, so Remus began studying.  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _"Why don't you have an owl?" Severus asked, chewing on a bite of his sandwich. He and Remus had sneaked away from the Great Hall during dinner, and opted to eat down by rocks under the bridge. It was a nice evening, albeit cloudy and a little windy.  
  
"Never could afford one," Remus answered.  
  
"Same," Severus told him.  
  
"Someday I'll train my own, though. I don't think they're too difficult to catch, and I am definitely smart enough to train one."  
  
"Why don't you just get you friend, _Black _, to buy you one?" Severus spat, scowling.  
  
Every time he mentioned Sirius or James, he would have the same reaction: complete and utter disgust. It bothered Remus, sure, but at the same time, he could understand why.   
  
"I'm not going to rely on my friend's money, or his parent's money for that matter. He's done a lot for me, Severus, and I am not the sort of person to take advantage of that." Snape just stared at Remus wide-eyed for a long moment. It made Remus a little self-conscious. "What? What did I say?"  
  
Severus looked back down at his sandwich. "Nothing."  
  
"It wasn't nothing. Look, if I offended you, I didn't mean--"  
  
"You called me ‘Severus'. I... You've never called me by my name before."  
  
"Well, we're friends, right?" Severus shot his gaze up to Remus again. "At least I would like to think so."  
  
Severus fidgeted with his sandwich and finally took a bite. He never answered._  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
He wouldn't be able to train an owl before the full moon. Remus pushed the book aside and rubbed his eyes. So much of his life revolved around what he could do or couldn't do as a werewolf. Simple things like planning outings and training an animal were complicated and difficult for werewolves on their own. He had to make sure he could fully train the bird within the time between transformations, or he'd have to just let the creature go.   
  
He couldn't trust Moony not to eat any other animal in the house.  
  
How much had Moony cost him over all of these years? Not just in terms of losing jobs and being unable to find work, or even being paid less than any other employee, but how much had it cost him socially. He was lucky to have any friends at all, and extremely lucky to have a few who knew about him and understood enough to become animagi to help him.  
  
And then there was Tonks. For someone like him to have a chance at a family, even if his heart was only half into it, was amazing. They were fast and great friends, and he always felt a little guilty that he could never return the same kind of love she had for him.  
  
It wasn't that he didn't love anyone. It was more that he still felt that kind of love for only one person. And until just a couple short weeks ago...  
  
"Don't do this to yourself, Remus," he said softly, burying his face in his hands. "Don't start on this path, or you'll never get yourself off of it."  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _Severus sat across the room from him, wrapped up in a blanket. He was still trembling, and refused to make eye-contact.  
  
"I can't hurt you now," Remus muttered. He was also wrapped up in a blanket, barely conscious, waiting for Dumbledore to return from his "little chat" with Potter and Black.  
  
"How can I believe you?" Severus said softly. "I didn't even know... why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Couldn't." Remus shifted and winced in pain as his bones cracked and groaned at even the slight movement. "How could I? Can't tell anyone." He closed his eyes and tried to relax.  
  
"You told your other so-called friends." Remus thought he saw moisture in Severus's eyes. "If Potter hadn't gotten in the way, you would have killed me."  
  
"It wasn't me." Remus forced himself up and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Please believe me, it wasn't me. I would never hurt you. I... I can't explain, but you have to believe that I wouldn't want any harm to come to you, ever."  
  
Severus turned away from him and shivered. "Why don't you take the potion?"  
  
Remus's shoulders slumped. "I don't have any. It's illegal to brew with these stupid laws in place, and I can't afford black market prices. That's why... well, Sirius and James and Peter help me."  
  
"Have you ever taken it?"  
  
"A couple of times. My parents... they paid all that they had for it. Tasted nasty, like nettles and pine sap."  
  
Severus nodded, still unable or unwilling to make eye-contact. He paused for a long moment, and then continued. "Most werewolves don't... they don't end up tearing themselves apart like you do - like you did."  
  
"Most werewolves don't care if they eat people or not. I chain myself up before... before it happens so I can be sure nobody gets hurt."  
  
"Except you."  
  
"Except me."  
  
  
Three weeks later, Remus was in the library studying when Severus came right up to him and set a small vial on the table right in front of him.  
  
Remus took the potion and took out the stopper to smell it. Severus put his hand over the top. "Don't. Take it... in five days. It won't taste nasty like nettles and pine sap. This should taste like mint and cloves."  
  
"I... Severus..."  
  
He looked down at Remus and sighed. Severus opened his mouth to speak and closed it a couple of times before he collected himself. He cleared his throat. "I can help take care of you, too," he said softly.  
  
  
"What's it like after the transformation?" Severus asked as they walked down the path toward the Whomping Willow.  
  
"It hurts." Remus let out a deep breath.  
  
Severus glared at him. "That's not what I meant."  
  
"I know. When I wake up, it's like waking after being unconscious for a while. I'm always hungry for eggs and coffee - probably because my body needs protein and some sort of stimulant." He raked his hand through his hair. Night had already fallen and they were both out after curfew. It was the only way they could meet and really talk, though, without either of their friends' knowing.  
  
Remus was sure that his friends could eventually come around to the idea of him having Snape as a friend. Well, James would, anyway. Sirius might, too, if Remus could get around to expressing just how he felt about Severus.  
  
Then again, he wasn't sure he could even admit those things to himself yet.   
  
On Severus's side there was Lucius Malfoy and his friends. They were bad news at best, and extremely dangerous to be more correct. The man was actually proud of following a dark path, and was a firm believer in pureblood supremacy. Even the thought of what might happen to him - or to Severus - if Malfoy ever got wind of their friendship sent shivers down his spine.  
  
No, it was best that they keep their association a secret.  
  
When they neared the Whomping Willow, Severus stopped. "This way," he called out, and pointed to a thin deer path that ran down the side of the hill. Remus followed him down the path, through a patch of woods, and down to a clearing at the edge of the lake.  
  
"It's really nice down here." Remus smiled and picked up a flat stone. He skipped it along the water, then brushed off his hands and leaned against a tree.  
  
Severus stuffed his hands in the pockets of his robes and stood a few paces away from the other man. "I've never known a werewolf before."  
  
"I'm the same person you knew last year."  
  
"No you're not. You're a much better person."  
  
Remus felt his heart hammering in his chest. "Thank you, Severus. I think you're... I think you've always been a better person."  
  
They just stood there for a long time, enjoying the night, neither of them wanting to break the silence. Frogs and crickets were singing along the bank, and somewhere off in the distance, they could hear a Hippogryff calling.   
  
After several minutes, Remus pushed off from the tree and went to stand closer to Severus. Reaching down, he touched Severus's hand. Severus flinched. "I'm sorry, I... I thought..." Remus stammered. "No, nevermind." He brought his hand back and held it as if he'd just been burned.  
  
"No, it's okay." Severus reached up and took Remus's hand back from him. "I was just startled, that's all." He laced his fingers With Remus's, then pulled him back so they could both sit on a boulder in the clearing. "Don't... don't tell your friends."  
  
"I won't," Remus promised. "As long as you don't tell yours. I can't imagine what they would do to me."  
  
"I won't tell them anything."_  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
Remus finished the scarf and laid it out on the bed. It looked a little ragged in a few places. "Not bad for a first try, old boy," he congratulated himself. The yarn was a beautiful blue, brown, and cream varigated wool. "Severus would have looked great in this. I don't know if the colors are right for me or not, but it really does remind me of him."  
  
Everything seemed to remind him of Severus these days. As he puttered about in the kitchen, he kept thinking about how much Severus would have appreciated the efficiency of the layout and how uncluttered it was. He imagined him standing over the stove, frying some eggs and making coffee in the morning. He imagined him washing up after dinner, or chopping and preparing potions ingredients.  
  
And he imagined him just  _there_. Remus's heart ached. This was worse than finding out Tonks had been killed. She was a great friend and the mother of his child, but Severus... Severus was something else entirely.  
  
Remus rocked back on his heels, sitting on the floor. He grabbed the scarf in his hands and brought it up to his face. "I loved him," he whispered as he choked back more tears.  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _"Over here," Severus whispered and motioned to Remus. They were in one of the older wings of Hogwarts main castle, looking for someplace they could have some privacy.  
  
Remus followed him down a narrow corridor and into an old room that might have been some sort of laboratory. There were only two windows and no furniture. The walls and floor were all gray slate. "It's cold in here," Remus protested in a whisper. "And I don't feel comfortable being inside the castle. We should be--"  
  
Severus pulled him up and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Remember, Remus? I said that I could take care of you, too. You're cold? I can warm you up." He brought one hand up to the back of Remus's head and grabbed his hair, then brought his mouth closer. "Don't want you to catch a chill," he whispered.  
  
Remus leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes. For all that they'd teased Severus over the years, he wasn't anything like what he'd expected. Instead of being cold, his mouth was warm and soft. His lips were tender and not at all chapped. His hair, which always had a bright sheen to it, was not greasy at all, but so fine and soft like a rabbit's fur.   
  
And he was far stronger than he'd ever looked. When Severus broke off the kiss and let him go, Remus had to catch his breath. He paused for a few moments, just looking into Severus's eyes, and then leaned in and kissed him again. Remus pressed his body against the Severus's thighs rubbing against groins desperately. Severus let out a low moan of pleasure.  
  
"Come with me after graduation," Remus suggested, nibbling on Severus's lower lip. "Live with me."  
  
Severus leaned down and rested his forehead on Remus's shoulder. "I can't."  
  
Remus froze for a moment, then brought his arms around Severus's shoulders and raked his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. "Why not?"  
  
"I... I have to go with Malfoy, Goyle, and the others."  
  
"What? Why? No you don't!" Remus pulled back. "No you don't!" He could feel his cheeks burning. "Do you know what they do? Do you even know..."  
  
"Of course I know! But they're my friends, Remus. I'm not going to just abandon them."  
  
Remus was hurt. Numbness took over where he had just felt complete bliss. "I thought you might give them up for me."  
  
Severus shook his head and tossed back his hair. "Would you give up your friends for me? Would you agree not to see them again?"  
  
"That's different."  
  
"No it isn't. Look, I know that they can be extreme at times, but at least they've got my back when I need it. Potter and Black... well, Black tried to kill me, and Potter has made my life a living hell for the past six years. Do you have any idea what it's like living under the thumb of someone like that?"  
  
Remus swallowed the knot in his throat. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm sure everyone would have been sorry if they'd driven me to suicide, which I do honestly believe was their intention."  
  
"That wasn't..." Remus didn't want to finish his sentence. He couldn't defend their behavior. "I'm sorry. Wouldn't you at least consider coming with me?"  
  
"There's nothing to consider, Remus. I would ask you to come with me, but I know that they wouldn't easily accept you - accept us. If at all. This," Severus motioned between them, "is an abomination to them." _  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
"Only two more days," Remus said softly, looking through his list. He had already packed up the books so that Moony wouldn't destroy them, and was in the process of building bars for the windows by strapping pieces of wood together and transfiguring them into iron. There is a pile of chains with shackles in the far corner, away from the bed.   
  
"I don't know if I want to survive this time or not," he said to himself. "What's there to live for? Teddy, I suppose. Then again, he'd probably do just as well being raised by Harry or Andromeda."  
  
Remus set down his list and reached for his cup of tea. Just as he was bringing the cup to his mouth, he heard a rapping noise at the window.  
  
There was a young gray owl sitting on his window sill with a small parcel in its mouth. Remus opened the window and let the bird in. It walked to the middle of the table and gently placed the parcel on top of his list. Then without begging for a treat or waiting for a response, it walked over to the window and flew away again.  
  
"Must be from Harry," Remus said, smiling. He untied the string, opened the paper, then took the lid off of the small box. Laying inside on a bed of cotton was a small vial with a note attached. Remus's heart leaped into his throat. Written on the note in Snape's small, messy scrawl were the words "I can still take care of you."  
  
Remus fell out of his chair. His mind raced, trying to make sense of this package. Perhaps Snape had brewed it before he died, and the owl was just now coming around to find him? But if that was the case, the wolfsbane in the vial would have turned a murky green by now and wouldn't be any good. The potion was still the shimmering blue.  
  
Perhaps someone else brewed it for him. Who could have done that? Hermione Granger? Surely she was clever enough. And then someone would have written the note. But who? Nobody else would have said those words to him. And the handwriting was unmistakable!  
  
But it had to have been someone else. Perhaps they just found the note in the potions laboratory and decided to put it on the bottle to make him feel better.  
  
Remus convinced himself that was the case. He picked up the vial and set it on the now empty bookshelf, then went back to making the bars for his windows. His hands were trembling and all afternoon he was distracted from his work, his eyes irresistibly drawn to the vial staring down at him from the bookshelf.   
  
The afternoon of the full moon, Remus found himself pacing. He'd put away the bed and the table just in case the potion didn't work and Moony felt like destroying the place. All that was left in the room were the shackles that are bolted to the floor, the bookshelf, and that small vial of wolfsbane that sat on the top shelf.  
  
"I don't want to take it," Remus muttered to himself. "Tasting a wolfsbane brewed by someone else..." He picked the vial up off of the shelf and brought it with him to the corner with the shackles. He sat on the floor and attached the rings to his ankles and wrists, then pulled a blanket over his shoulders.   
  
Hands trembling, he pulled the stopper from the top of the bottle and lifted it to his mouth.   
  
"Mint and cloves," he whispered. "It tastes of mint and cloves." Remus began chuckling, but then his laughter turned into tears, and then sobs. He pulled the blanket around him tighter and curled up into a ball.   
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
 _"I was not made aware of your position here, Professor Lupin."  
  
"Oh? I thought Albus would have informed you before the paperwork was even sent to me."  
  
"No, he did not."  
  
"Are you upset?"  
  
"I... I am not upset."  
  
"Good. I... I don't want to make you uncomfortable."  
  
"Lupin, you... you can never make me uncomfortable."  
  
"Now _that _I know is a lie."  
  
"Is it? Well, I suppose you would know best."_  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
The morning sun cut through Remus's senses like a sharp knife. He woke to find himself crumpled on the floor near the bed.  
  
The bed? How did that get there? Remus was sure he had transfigured it and put it away the day before. He pulled the blanket close around him and moved to unbolt the shackles, only to find that they had been removed, as well.  
  
Remus pushed himself up and stumbled onto the bed, curling up in considerably more comfort. The potion he had taken worked very well. He could feel that Moony was relatively calm and slept through most of the night, he even remembered most of what happened in some sort of a foggy daze.  
  
There was something else that was niggling at the back of Remus's mind. Something familiar and comforting.   
  
He could hear movement in the kitchen. A knife chopping something, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, and the sound of eggs cracking and then sizzling in a frying pan.  
  
~*~*~End~*~*~


End file.
